theWorks - the Nexus Blog

holes

Cast your eye across the British cultural landscape at the moment and you'll find one dominant theme - holes. They're everywhere. There are holes in the road. Quite a lot of them actually.. around 1.5 million, which is 50% up on last year in the aftermath of a Siberian Winter. The government is so concerned about the potential impact (literally) on the electorate that they've announced a £100m pay out to help councils fill them up again. Of course, that's £100m they don't really have because there's another big hole in the public finances. This debt hole is heading rapidly toward £1.6 trillion and means that next year British taxpayers will spend more on debt interest than on Defence.

And then there's the Lenny Henry hole. For those unfamiliar with Lenny, he's a Brit comedian who also happens to be the face of Premier Inns. The latest Premier ad campaign involves Lenny smashing a hole in a hotel room door with an axe, a la Jack Nicholson in The Shining, sticking his head through and shouting 'Here's Lenny'. This parody supposedly demonstrates the ill-effects of sleep deprivation caused by a bad night in a lousy hotel. Unfortunately for Premier, it's also demonstrated the ill-effects of broadcasting an axe-wielding Lenny Henry on daytime TV. Terror-stricken young children have reportedly been sent running and screaming for Mummy, leading the Advertising Standards Authority to ban poor Lenny from all children's programming.

I have some sympathy with Premier.. and Lenny. Let's face it, we've all had moments when we've wanted to smash a hole in a hotel door. Typically it's the door of the room next to us when 'nocturnal sounds' of one sort or another inhibit the serious business of falling asleep. Maybe Premier should consider a sequel with Lenny as the Terminator crashing through the walls from one room to another, ruthlessly taking out anyone shouting, moaning or talking on the phone too loudly, or with the TV on full volume at three in the morning. I'd buy into that. And with that kind of message Premier would soon monopolise the business traveller market. But I guess that's a hole other story...

Comments (Comment Moderation is enabled. Your comment will not appear until approved.)